Spring has finally stopped hitting Snooze, rolled its ass out of bed and tottered groggily to the washroom for a cold splashing to the face and a long-held wee. So what are we to do with this opportunity? Why, get the fuck out there and enjoy it before it’s gone!
My partner (best adventurer/dinosaur [it’s a long story, just go with it]) Cathy and I are no strangers to Central Alberta’s hiking opportunities. In fact you might say we’re experienced outdoorsy people with a love for nature and a thirst for challenge. Last weekend we took on an actual Intermediate hiking trail at Elk Island National Park! I know, I know, pretty good, huh? You know Green Circle’s cool and all but it was Blue Square for us all the way. Can’t speak for Cathy but this might have been a record achievement for me.
Elk Island, about half an hour’s drive East of Edmonton on Highway 16, is full of wooded walking trails which meander through meadows, around small lakes and basically right past actively inhabited wetlands. They’re excellent for getting that elusive “fun exercise” that people talk about. The trail system is also furnished with open barbecue pits so you can stuff yourself with delicious camping-style foods as part of the experience. And damn, do I ever love that part.
The specific Intermediate trail we walked was Shirley Lake Trail, at roughly eleven kilometres long and (if the sport app on my phone is to be believed) around eighty-seven metres total elevation gain. The summary is that if you can handle a leisurely walk over grass, dirt and the occasional log, you too can master this hike. In addition to the exercise however, Elk Island has another draw that keeps us returning. Elk Island is full of wildlife.
The website (link below) says that Shirley Lake Trail is frequented by bison, moose and elk. We sidestepped poop the whole way. Shirley lake Trail is definitely frequented by bison, moose and elk. We also spotted enough beaver dams and lodges to suggest a notable horde of beavers. Cathy and I already know from experience that sunrise and sunset are the best times to encounter beavers. For us that usually means sunset because Spring isn’t the only lazy one here and fucked if we’re getting up that early. But since beavers are most active at night, we have indeed witnessed them going about their adorable furry business. You need a bit of patience and perseverance but they do come out when they’re good and ready.
Specific tips for beaver-sighting include the following:
-Find the water. Beavers are kind of fond of it. Sloughs, shallow lakes and minimally polluted streams are popular. If you find calm water with a bunch of sticks in it, you’ve probably found beaver town.
-Stay low to the grass and keep the noise down. Though a beaver may smell you and be fully aware there’s a nosy human there, it could still stumble near you on its stick-finding patrol if the wind shifts.
-Have a spare toque handy. Everyone knows beavers are Canadian as shit and will be overwhelmed with patriotic affection if you offer one some warm headwear.
-Learn your beaver call. It takes a bit of practice but once you become proficient, beavers flood to you. It goes like this: ‘Here beavers! Heeeere beavers! Here beaverbeaverbeavers!’
The whole of Elk Island is home to a growing herd of plains bison as part of the Canadian government’s successful effort to save the species from extinction. Since the early 1900’s Elk Island has slowly nurtured this once-rare animal back to a healthy and sustainable population. Now if you visit, you can generally find a dozen or more grazing on the Bison Loop Road not far from the park’s South entrance. Basically an open field with a gravel road for cars, Bison Loop Road is a fantastic chance to actually drive within metres of these majestic slabs of muscle and hair. And also their adorable bison babies.
If you fancy a cruise around the loop, by all means enjoy this privilege, but remember the following tips:
-Stay the fuck in your car. Seriously. Just stay in your car. We have few enough nice things as it is, don’t fuck with the bison.
-Also don’t run, scream or throw things at the bison.
-Bison are pretty happy to pose for pictures; be sure to tag them on facebook so their friends can see that really good shot you took.
-You might have heard this before but don’t fuck with the bison.
Elk Island National Park is impressive. You can hike there, you can witness wildlife there, you can boat there and you can even camp there. As a national park, entry technically requires a fee (day pass is $8.50 per adult, as of May 2022) but you can also get a Parks Canada Discovery Pass which you buy once and it gets you into any such park for a year. That being said, one thing Elk Island doesn’t have is bears. For bears, you’ll want to take your parks pass and head at least two hundred fifty kilometres West, into the Rocky Mountain foothills. For best results, continue into the mountains proper. By the time you reach Jasper, now you’re in bear town.
For a safe and educational time in bear territory, consider the following tips:
-Make yourself big and noisy for black bears and play dead for grizzly bears. …Or is it the other way around?
-Run away from black bears and slowly back away from grizzly bears, yeah, that might be it.
-Possibly talk to black bears in a calming voice and, uh, I seem to remember something about how grizzly bears perform “feint” charges to scare away threats and swerve at the last second.
-Fuck it; reach for the bear spray, which should be stored in an accessible spot on the outside of your adventuring gear. Remove safety clip, note which way the wind is blowing and aim downward in front of the charging bear’s face. Squeeze the thumb trigger in short bursts when that sucker approaches within ten metres and hope it gets the hint. If bear does not get hint, spray again until it decides you’re not scrumptious enough for this shit.
Now that it’s Spring and outdoor adventures no longer require three or more layers, why not take full advantage of the natural landscapes right here within reach of good old Edmonton. We share our environment with a bounty of wild animals, most of which won’t kill you. Be a responsible outdoorsy person and respect their wild habitats so they can go on not giving a shit that you’re there.
See you on those trails! …Even the namby pamby ones.
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Elk Island National Park:
https://www.pc.gc.ca/en/pn-np/ab/elkisland/
Parks Canada Discovery Pass:
There's No Going Back 